Writing Discussion 2

[kriadydragon]

Including descriptions of characters' actions in dialogue scenes - how much is too much, and how much is not enough? You don't want it to just be a long string of "he said/she said", but you don't want to describe every eyebrow twitch, either ...

Comments

[parmalokwen.livejournal.com]

I learned this in a college fiction writing class-- the word "said" is practically an invisible one. It is the only dialogue marker that is. So "said" should be the verb of choice. Do not dive for the thesaurus. The teacher left it there- we have to learn the rules before we can break them- but I think there are times when the character's expression clearly calls for other verbs. When a character says something in a completely different manner than the rest of the conversation, it may call for a different dialogue marker. Sarcastic muttering, for instance, is often a break from the conversational tone. "Yeah, right," he muttered. But don't add "sarcastically" to that-- adverbs are almost never necessary, and make the dialogue clunky. And again, if you find yourself reaching for a thesaurus because you think you need variations on "said" to be interesting...don't.

The chief importance of dialogue markers, I think, is to provide pauses and to make sure the reader does not lose track of who is saying what. So although you don't need to mark every sentence, it is seldom appropriate to leave an entire conversation unmarked.

There are also times when facial (or other) expression can take the place of a line of dialogue entirely, and if it is appropriate to a character it can add variety to the exchange. A raised eyebrow, for instance, can mean "I don't believe you" without any support from spoken words, prompting the other character to babble on "no really, it's true, it looked like an enormous slime mold, and it won't let us cross its bridge until we bring it an immersion blender!" But it should generally be used sparingly, except for a character well known for his or her lack of verbal expression. Oz from Buffy fandom, for instance, is famously not much of a talker.

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

Very true to all of this. I've read stories that completely snub he/she said altogether but then it's line after line of he muttered, he yelled, he interjected and that gets just as tiresome as line after line of he/she said.

The stories I've read that I felt had the best execution of dialog were those stories that did a little of everything. This includes lines of dialog with no dialog markers. ("What did you say?" "I said." Or "What did you say?" He turned to face his accuser...).