Term of Endearment or Verbal Abuse?

[kriadydragon]

I was watching an anime the other day and as is usually the case with animes one character was verbally abusing another - calling them an idiot, moron, etc. All out of endearment of course, but it made me think: Do people really do this to each other? Even to people they love? Do they call family and friends idiots and morons? To their faces?

I've always had issues in fic when someone will have one character really, really insult another character, even though other character is one character's friend. It's why I squirm whenever Rodney calls John an idiot to his face and John just sits there and takes it, or Peter calls Neal an idiot to his face. Because... would anyone actually do that? Because even if the person doesn't mean it, even if they're just teasing, those are still some pretty strong words. If a friend, or especially a family member, called me an idiot or moron just to be kidding around, I'd be pretty friggin' ticked.

I suppose I could understand it if that's just the way the person is, they don't mean it, and everyone knows this. And I could see the recipient of the insult putting up with it because they felt they deserved the insult (because they actually did something to deserve it, not because they were conditioned to think they deserve it). But... still... I would think it would be rather hard not to take at least some offense. After all, a line should be drawn as to how far someone's abrasiveness can go.

What do you all think? Do you know people who are insulting but because that is the way the person is, or because the person doesn't mean it, no one takes it personally?

Comments

[drufan.livejournal.com]

Idiot is a nice term when my husband and his friends get together. Believe me, they say far worse with all the love in their manly hearts. I know I've used it in one of my stories but Shep gave as good as he got. I based it on the interaction of my husband and his friends.

But with these characters, I couldn't see Rodney ever meaning it or namecalling. It would go against his respect and manly love for Shep.

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

As I said to Friendshipper, though I do get that for many it's just playful banter, for me it's not something I'm used to or even have a high tolerance for. My family may be sarcastic but I don't remember even my brother calling anyone an idiot, at least not to their face. And I've been on the wrong end of insults enough that I have a hard time putting up with it. If someone called me a rather insulting name under the assumption that I knew they were just teasing, even if I did know I doubt it would end well.