Term of Endearment or Verbal Abuse?

[kriadydragon]

I was watching an anime the other day and as is usually the case with animes one character was verbally abusing another - calling them an idiot, moron, etc. All out of endearment of course, but it made me think: Do people really do this to each other? Even to people they love? Do they call family and friends idiots and morons? To their faces?

I've always had issues in fic when someone will have one character really, really insult another character, even though other character is one character's friend. It's why I squirm whenever Rodney calls John an idiot to his face and John just sits there and takes it, or Peter calls Neal an idiot to his face. Because... would anyone actually do that? Because even if the person doesn't mean it, even if they're just teasing, those are still some pretty strong words. If a friend, or especially a family member, called me an idiot or moron just to be kidding around, I'd be pretty friggin' ticked.

I suppose I could understand it if that's just the way the person is, they don't mean it, and everyone knows this. And I could see the recipient of the insult putting up with it because they felt they deserved the insult (because they actually did something to deserve it, not because they were conditioned to think they deserve it). But... still... I would think it would be rather hard not to take at least some offense. After all, a line should be drawn as to how far someone's abrasiveness can go.

What do you all think? Do you know people who are insulting but because that is the way the person is, or because the person doesn't mean it, no one takes it personally?

Comments

[x-erikah-x.livejournal.com]

A lot of people have said it already. For me it's normal and I have absolutely no problems with it as long as the people don't feel offended. I've called my family and relatives quite a few things, idiot being really light in comparison. Angry or playfully, it doesn't matter. In Brazil it is quite normal for friends and family to treat each other this way, especially guys. I really don't see Rodney calling John idiot or moron as being inappropriate. I really do like it because it makes me identify with the characters a lot more because that's the way I would treat them. Of course in fanfic it is sometimes taken too far because I never think Rodney would really mean these things (even though he might, playfully, say he did XD).

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

Well, as I said above I tend to be what you see is what you get, and because we have never actually heard Rodney call John an idiot, and because John doesn't always put up with Rodney being Rodney, It's just not something I see Rodney doing, Plus Rodney's a smart guy. If he's going to tease or insult John, he's going to come up with something way better than idiot or moron. The only time I can see Rodney saying idiot or moron is if he's angry (such as when he's talking about the people working under him). For Rodney to call John idiot... I don't know, it just seems really below him. But that's just how I see it.

Like I said to others, insults as terms of endearment isn't something I'm used to. I am used to sarcasm as endearment, though, and if we did happen to insult each other in a playful way, it was usually subtle in an attempt to be clever. But even then it's pretty rare.