Writing Discussion 2

[kriadydragon]

Including descriptions of characters' actions in dialogue scenes - how much is too much, and how much is not enough? You don't want it to just be a long string of "he said/she said", but you don't want to describe every eyebrow twitch, either ...

Comments

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

I had someone tell me that you should always use he/she said and nothing else. No "He said, raising an eyebrow." I find that to be a load of crap because personally I hate it when the dialog is a string of he/she said. After a while you totally blank out the He said, she said part so what's the point?

Anyway, enough venting about that. I always have issues with action in dialog, because describing facial expressions between each line of dialog also gets tiresome (espeically when it's the same description each time).

I think this, too, comes down to characterization and having well-enough established characters to give your readers an idea of the character's expressions/actions without having to describe them every time. I'm basing this on books I've read that had an excellent balance of dialog and action. It seems like they'll start long strings of dialog with some action, then after a while focus on dialog only, without describing the actions. So they establish for the readers what actions should be expected by including action, then move into dialog only and let the readers fill in the action blanks themselves based on the actions previously described.

And I really hope that makes sense. I guess you could compare it to establishing mood, but instead establishing the character's actions either before or when they first start speaking. For example, if your character is the kind of person to fold their arms when frustrated (or pace, or rub their face), by establishing this before hand - say at the start of the dialog or the first couple of chapters - then after a while you wouldn't have to describe it each time the person gets frustrated, because the reader will know to expect it and see it in their mind without being prompted.

I would also say that unless the action is significant in some way then you don't need a lot of it, just enough to establish what actions would be (frowning, glaring, pacing, tapping feet, sipping from a glass, eating, etc.).

[black-raven135.livejournal.com]

I don't care for all description but I don't care for nothing but dialog either. It tends to leave too much of what is happening to the reader's imagination.
A bit of that is fine, but not where I am forced to try to figure out what
a character is seeing and feeling about the situation....
BTW, I am struggling to develop more dialog, because I realize my writing has been largely POV and narrative driven......
Thanks so much for posting this dilemma.

[swanpride.livejournal.com]

I admit I'm not really good in including description in the dialogue. I tend to write just the dialogue first, that's my first instinct. And then I add the other stuff. Because, although I believe that less is more, there should be enough description that the reader is still in the situation, not in some sort of bubble.

He said/she said - that's a habit I don't have, for the simple reason that the German "er/sie sagte" doesn't slip as easily into a text than the english variant. It's more or less the first thing we get drilled in us when we start to do writing assignements: use alternative words. There is a little bit more choice in German than in englisch, but it's ingrained in me to look for alternatives "he questioned, answered, whispered, shouted, assumed, suspected, quoted, injected, opted, voiced aso.

Otherwise it depends on the narration. If the scene is written from the pov of one person, said person can watch the reactions of the other persons and trying to read them. (it's also fun to switch pov and it turns out that the reading was totally wrong). But in general, it always helps to let the people do something. Drinking or eating, having something in the hand they play with, whatever fits the situation.

But I think, you can easily get away with keeping at least part of the dialogue just dialogue between two persons, you just have to pay attention that it's obvious who said what and that the passage isn't too long.

[sholio]

Heh, I suggested this topic in the hopes of getting some ideas/tips, because I am really struggling with this particular issue lately. I feel like I'm in danger of becoming very repetitive with my descriptions. I find myself describing the characters' small facial movements (raising an eyebrow, smiling, frowning) or little actions ("He sipped his coffee...") a lot more than really seems to benefit the scene, but otherwise I don't have much else to describe or to break up the back-and-forth of the dialogue ... I end up with nothing but a series of he said/she said attribution tags.

Possibly this is a sign that I need more going on in my dialogue scenes than just dialogue. I've been ending up lately with a lot of scenes in which characters sit around and talk. *muses* I wonder if I could have the same dialogue exchanges take place while they're doing something more active.

[parmalokwen.livejournal.com]

I learned this in a college fiction writing class-- the word "said" is practically an invisible one. It is the only dialogue marker that is. So "said" should be the verb of choice. Do not dive for the thesaurus. The teacher left it there- we have to learn the rules before we can break them- but I think there are times when the character's expression clearly calls for other verbs. When a character says something in a completely different manner than the rest of the conversation, it may call for a different dialogue marker. Sarcastic muttering, for instance, is often a break from the conversational tone. "Yeah, right," he muttered. But don't add "sarcastically" to that-- adverbs are almost never necessary, and make the dialogue clunky. And again, if you find yourself reaching for a thesaurus because you think you need variations on "said" to be interesting...don't.

The chief importance of dialogue markers, I think, is to provide pauses and to make sure the reader does not lose track of who is saying what. So although you don't need to mark every sentence, it is seldom appropriate to leave an entire conversation unmarked.

There are also times when facial (or other) expression can take the place of a line of dialogue entirely, and if it is appropriate to a character it can add variety to the exchange. A raised eyebrow, for instance, can mean "I don't believe you" without any support from spoken words, prompting the other character to babble on "no really, it's true, it looked like an enormous slime mold, and it won't let us cross its bridge until we bring it an immersion blender!" But it should generally be used sparingly, except for a character well known for his or her lack of verbal expression. Oz from Buffy fandom, for instance, is famously not much of a talker.