Including descriptions of characters' actions in dialogue scenes - how much is too much, and how much is not enough? You don't want it to just be a long string of "he said/she said", but you don't want to describe every eyebrow twitch, either ...
Personally, I think there is nothing wrong with "just" dialogue, as long as it doesn't throw the reader out of the situation. But you could add more thoughts of the characters, how they see the actions of the others and how they see the situation. You can also do a lot with gestures, like tapping the fingers, playing with a wedding ring...if you write about Neal in the office, he can always play with the rubber string ball (for fanfictions it's always a good idea to keep attention to the habits already there...Peter is frowning a lot, so I like to use the word for him although its very much a standart-word, but it wouldn't fit Neal or Diana).
I think it's easier for me in fanfic, because I have a mental catalog of the quirks and mannerisms of the actor/character to draw upon. It's the original novel where I'm really getting stuck, because I need a similar catalog for each of my characters and I'm having to build it. Even in those cases where I know my characters' body language really well, it's hard not to be repetitive (for example, I have one character who is very understated, subtle and quiet in all that she does, but constantly referring to her "little smiles" and "tiny nods" is probably going to be quite wearing for the reader, I think).
Looking back over dialogue scenes I've written, though, there's way less uninterrupted dialogue than I actually thought I was writing at the time. I think I can probably get away with knocking off some of the descriptors and just going for the dialogue in some of my iffy cases.
Depends - perhaps you should think up a gesture which is less generetic. Like tilting the head in a special way, or moving the hair out of her face, or playing with her hair in a special way - she could compulsive bite/suck on her lip. The possibilities are endless.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 07:54 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 11:01 pm (UTC)From:Looking back over dialogue scenes I've written, though, there's way less uninterrupted dialogue than I actually thought I was writing at the time. I think I can probably get away with knocking off some of the descriptors and just going for the dialogue in some of my iffy cases.
no subject
Date: 2011-09-19 12:48 am (UTC)From: