It's Interesting the Things You Get Offended by

[kriadydragon]

(Although this also could be the result of me being in a bit of a tetchy mood, so who knows).


I was reading the bio of a favorite fanfic author, and they were talking about how they don't quite understand people who state in their bios the things they won't write (like in my bio I have a list of things I won't write). The person said the reason for this is that they don't believe in limiting themselves and don't like to close themselves off to all possible story ideas; that while there are things they may not write, neither will they say they will never write such things because they don't want to limit themselves when it comes to story ideas.

And I understand this, I do. But my knee-jerk thought was "and you think I do limit myself mentally because of the things I won't write?" I don't know, I think it's just one of those things that I'm probably taking too personally since I am one of those writers with a bio listing the things I won't write. That they don't want to limit themselves is fine, of course, but I guess it made me feel... just really defensive, like I was inferior for having limits. Which I know wasn't the intent, but you know how it is when it feels like someone is criticizing what you do and what you believe in.

But the remark also got me thinking about why it is I list the things I won't write. Because the person does make a good point about not limiting yourself mentally, because you never do know. I've never written a het fic, but I did write a fic with some het in it, once.

But for me, my list of "will not write" is important on three fronts.

Front 1: it keeps people from making requests for things I know I won't write or include in my stories. I don't know why, but it always bugs me when someone leaves a comment suggesting to the writer that they should include the following trope or pairing in their story for such-and-such reason. In the Merlin fandom, for example, I'll always get people saying how much better my story would have been had it been a reveal fic, or how they wished it had been a reveal fic, or that they had been hoping for a reveal, and it always rubs me the wrong way. I don't want to say it made me feel harassed since harassed is such a strong word, but it did make me feel bitter toward reveal fic for a time, and tired of the feeling that a Merlin fic is only good if it involves a magic reveal.

Front 2: To let readers know what they can expect and not expect from my stories. Plus... sometimes it's nice to know where authors stand on certain things, as it makes you feel a little less adrift in the sea of fandom.

Front 3: I also find the list to be kind of a self-reminder, in a way, of knowing where I stand and why I stand there. Because there's been stories I've been tempted to write, and though they weren't heavy-handed or explicit, they would still have been the kind of stories I would have regretted writing - not because I don't think they would have been enjoyed, but because of what I feel they would have said about myself and my mindset. Not because I worry of what others will think of me, but because of what I'll think about myself. It's like this story one brother at my church told, back when he was... I think he was in Vietnam. His buddies were out partying out on the town doing all kinds of stuff, and he stayed behind. When the lady who cleaned the barracks asked him about this, saying that no one would know if he went out and partied, his response was "I'll know." While I'm all for expanding one's horizons, I also think it's important to figure out if there are any lines that you, personally, would be better off not crossing. It's not limiting yourself to say "I'm not going to write 'this thing'" if "this thing" is something you're not comfortable with, or just flat-out do not like. I also don't think it's limiting yourself to say "I'd rather not write 'this thing' because it may lead to writing 'this other thing' that I'll regret writing." It's just... knowing where you stand, and not giving into things you might wish you never gave into.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is... we all have our reasons for doing what we do, and just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it's not valid in some a way. It's good to step outside your comfort zone, but I also think it's good to know how far you're willing to step.

Comments

[afleur-de-lis.livejournal.com]

I agree with your points here. While it is a good thing to step out of your comfort zones, there are still some things that you're not at all comfortable with and prefer not to write.

Of course, I could have gotten mixed up with what you said but that is what I got out of it. Please correct me if I am wrong.

Have to admit that I agree with that favourite author of yours as well. It doesn't help you if you are limited to something that you are comfortable with, sometimes you must test the waters in something that you're not like the way I am with romance.

Well, au revoir for now!

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

No, that's pretty much the gist of it. I think everyone has something that's a "will not write" for them, even if it's something they haven't discovered, yet. I totally agreed with them about never knowing what you may or may not write, but speaking for myself there are things I know I will never write (like sex scenes), but I don't feel as though I'm limiting myself or my ideas by not writing sex scenes. After all, we write just as much for ourselves, if not more, than for the ones who read our stories. So it makes no sense to write something that's going to make you massively uncomfortable (in fact, one's writing tends to suffer when you force yourself to write something you really don't want to write).

That said, I'm also all for trying new things and, as you said, testing the waters. There are things I used to shy away from, like AUs, that now I adore.

What I felt offended by, and what I often feel offended by when it comes to talking about expanding one's horizons, is what feels like the attitude that if you're not writing thousands of miles beyond your comfort zone - that is, if you're not writing the things that make you monumentally uncomfortable - then you're not really expanding your horizons. Sort of like how some believe that if all you write is sci-fi and fantasy then you're not really writing quality literature (which, of course, is a load of crap). That said, I don't think that's what this person was actually saying - I think they were mostly just stating a fact about themselves - but I think it one of those things where, maybe, they should have worded it differently.

[ninja007.livejournal.com]

While she didn't overtly insult those writers she was referring to, she still put enough negative connotation it what she WAS saying to infer that if you do limit yourself, 'you're not really a writer'. That's why the knee jerk reaction.

I think there are different types of writers, like people, have different ways of doing things. Just because that's not what SHE does, doesn't make you any less of an author.

My psychologist said I should have become a psychologist, as I understand the way human brains work and the human condition with all its...weirdness.

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I get what she was trying to get across but it was definitely one of those situations in which what she said could have - should have - been worded differently. Or maybe even not said at all. It just struck me as... a smidge condescending, and although I'm not mad at them (because, really, we all suffer moments of open mouth, insert foot without realizing it), it did leave me feeling a little disappointed. I agree with some of what they said, I just wish they had gone about saying it differently :/

[ninja007.livejournal.com]

Now, see, I disagree with what she said. I think there are different types of writers, who all do things their own way. Robert Heinlein used to go to his 'office' (he really had an office) and typed away from 8 am to 5 pm, while others just work when they feel the muse. As you can be sure, the way Heinlein didn't do things the way Bradbury did it. Their egos couldn't work that way.

Stick to your way of doing things and they WAY you want to do them. NO one has to right to tell you how to do write. Seriously...

[greeneyes-fan.livejournal.com]

I like to expand my comfort zone artistically, by, say, writing in a different format, style, or genre. Maybe a different fandom, maybe something really wild like a (plausible) crossover. I did a couple of challenge exchanges where I wound up writing something that wouldn't normally have even occurred to me to try, and in both cases I was really happy with the result.

Still, there are some things I won't write, like explicit sex. I don't even like reading it, so why should I write it? So, I guess I'm saying that I like to stretch myself if there's a reasonable chance it'll end with a story I actually like, and growth as a writer.

[black-raven135.livejournal.com]

"The person said the reason for this is that they don't believe in limiting themselves and don't like to close themselves off to all possible story ideas"



TOTALLY disagree and I find that attitude entirely stuffy...........
I not only limit what I will write but what I will beta.....and never mind what I will read (and some have failed to post a warning which really bothers me)
I know some ???? it e.g. when I offered beta services for SGA Big Bang, I finally pulled my offer because A LOT of writers were pestering me "can't you just overlook THAT part?" or even worse "Why won't you beta slash?"
and some of other areas I said NO to ............
The moderator was ticked off, but so what? I had offered to beta based on MY criteria........which did not include slash or a number of other areas which I find unacceptable.
By then I had found a job that interested me, I still beta for her.........

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

Still, there are some things I won't write, like explicit sex. I don't even like reading it, so why should I write it?

Yes, this. There are some things you just know you're never going to write, especially if it's something you've never enjoyed reading.

So, I guess I'm saying that I like to stretch myself if there's a reasonable chance it'll end with a story I actually like, and growth as a writer.

Also this. And stretching yourself as a writer doesn't mean having to go into territory you don't want to go to.

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

I do agree with them on the grounds that what they were trying to say was that this was how their own mind worked, and why it is they won't say outright that they won't write certain things. And I get that. It's the way the whole thing was worded that got my hackles up. The way they said it made me feel almost like there was something wrong with having limits, that everyone should have the mindset of not having limits. Like I said in a comment above, it just felt rather condescending.

That they like to keep their idea options wide open is fine. I just didn't like what felt like the implication that other people should be the same way.

[imbecamiel.livejournal.com]

I think the thing is, people with attitudes like that don't see that there are different kinds of "limiting" yourself.

It's one thing to say "I'll never write Westerns" (or first-person stories, or crossovers, or whatever). It's certainly any writer's right to decide something like that, and yes, maybe those genres/ideas just aren't something that appeals to you. But in cases like that, it's probably a better practice not to close yourself off to an interesting idea that might happen along, just because you've arbitrarily decided that you won't write X. It can inhibit your growth as a writer or artist when you hold yourself back from ideas because you've decided you can't, or won't, explore them.

BUT. It is quite another thing to have specific moral/personal/religious/etc. issues with certain subject matter, or with handling certain subjects in that way, and therefore decide that you will not write, say, explicit sex. Or that you won't include strong language in your stories. Or that you won't follow trends of mocking certain religions or people groups that you respect, even if others see them as dumb or crazy and it would be easy to win applause by taking a cheap shot in your story. That is not inhibiting your growth as a writer or a person. That is making a conscious decision to have standards, and to hold yourself to them, regardless of whether the people around you may agree with those standards.

As for posting a list explicitly stating that you will or won't write certain things? It's hardly necessary, of course, but I think it can be quite helpful at times. I know I can find it useful when, for instance, a story has an ambiguous description, which could lead me to wonder if it's going to go in X direction which I hate... but hey, if the author's stated that she doesn't write those stories, I'm more likely to give it a try, or stick through a passage that makes me wary of what content may be ahead.

Sure, some people may find it off-putting if they really love certain types of stories and an author says that they will not write that genre, or that pairing, or that character. But hey, at least you know then, and can move on to look for what you want elsewhere, right? And it can help avoid those awkward suggestions that you turn a story into something you have no intention of writing, ever. >.

[black-raven135.livejournal.com]

"The way they said it made me feel almost like there was something wrong with having limits....."

(((((((((((NODS))))))) THAT is what I mean
I feel it is critical of those of us who set limits
I am frankly becoming tired of having to defend my
position............

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

And it can help avoid those awkward suggestions that you turn a story into something you have no intention of writing, ever. >.

This is pretty much why I have my list, because I came to notice how suggestion-happy some readers could get, and I wanted to head those questions off so I didn't have to reply each and every time with how I didn't write such things.

And I think that's what really bugged me about what this person said, because they said they didn't understand why people made such lists, but neither did they really seem to try to understand (well, they kind of did, but then seemed kind of dismissive of that understanding, like it wasn't enough of an explanation).

As I've said in other comments, I get what it was they were trying to say, but it was one of those situations where they really should have worded it better.

[karri-kln1671.livejournal.com]

True 'nuff!

[m rohr (from livejournal.com)]

Yeah, that comment definitely comes across as a bit condescending/judgmental (though it may not have been intended that way, of course).

The thing is, there are about a gazillion things to write about, and nobody can write about all of them (let alone all in the same story). In fact, no one person can even *think* of all these possible story ideas (since different people come up with different ideas).

And of the ideas each author can think of, each author ends up writing just a subset of all *their* possible ideas/topics. So in that sense, *everybody* is limiting their writing by coming up with bunches of ideas, and rejecting some of them. So yes, by ruling out certain ideas up front, you're "limiting" your writing. But to put it another way, you're actually *focusing* your writing. I suspect every author does that, whether they do it consciously or not. The fact that you've considered, and then chosen not to delve into certain areas, suggests to me that you're just a bit more self-aware.

Not that there's anything wrong with authors who consider (and reject) ideas subconsciously, or on-the-fly. It's just that there's no *one* right way for every author to come up with ideas and write stories. And with every given story idea, it seems to me that there are still infinite possibilities to stretch yourself (and your story) and try new things.

Also, I actually think it's quite considerate of you to include the list in your bio. You let people request stories from you (and enjoy reading them online), but it just makes it simpler for everyone if it's clear what kinds of things you do and don't write. --m

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

But to put it another way, you're actually *focusing* your writing. I suspect every author does that, whether they do it consciously or not.

Oh, I like that. I like that a lot :D Because, yeah, I mean you have some authors who are pretty eclectic when it comes to what they write, other authors who only have certain things they'll write, and some writers who only ever have one story to tell. We all work differently as writers, so to say "focused" rather than "limited" feels a lot more accurate.

Not that there's anything wrong with authors who consider (and reject) ideas subconsciously, or on-the-fly. It's just that there's no *one* right way for every author to come up with ideas and write stories. And with every given story idea, it seems to me that there are still infinite possibilities to stretch yourself (and your story) and try new things.

Very true. I think even having things you won't write is, in a way, stretching yourself, because it means having to discover new ways to achieve a certain outcome normally achieved by writing the "thing" you don't want to write. And one thing I enjoy about writing fanfic is taking ideas normally found in the genres I won't write and working them into the genres I will write, just to see if it's possible. So, yeah, whether you have limits or not, you always find ways to grow as a writer.

[areth-lovejoy.livejournal.com]

I like knowing what to expect from an author, first of all. So that I don't run screaming away because fandom can be terrifying.


And I do think it is important to have not so much limits as principles. You may not want to write something and that does not mean you are limiting your abilities as a writer or preventing you from polishing your craft by not doing those things. It is a small view to think that unless you write all genres/tropes/etc you are somehow less than.

[nefhiriel.livejournal.com]

Totally agree and understand. There are definitely some things (such as het) that I wouldn't put on a Things I Will Not Write list, but there are other things that I need to remember are NOT things I want to compromise on, no matter how tempting it might be in a fit of inspiration.

I leave myself "free" to write whatever I want in the sense that I like to explore different types of stories and styles of approach, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with having standards and simply stating what those are in your bio. I certainly appreciate knowing about an authors stance on various things before delving into their fics - it's not always readily apparent from the summary where a story might head, after all, and I consider a bio a sort of author's summary of themselves. :)

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

Yeah. As much as I enjoy fanfic it can be like treading a minefield at times.

And I do think it is important to have not so much limits as principles.

Definitely, especially considering that there are some things out there being written that really shouldn't be written (which I ranted about in another post), and some tropes and concepts toeing some rather dangerous lines.

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

but there are other things that I need to remember are NOT things I want to compromise on, no matter how tempting it might be in a fit of inspiration.

Yes, this. It unnerves me, sometimes, the things I'm tempted to write, and I often need to remind myself why it is I don't write these kinds of things.

I leave myself "free" to write whatever I want in the sense that I like to explore different types of stories and styles of approach,

Definitely. As was mentioned in an above comment there's all kinds of ways to stretch yourself as an author, and stretching yourself doesn't mean having to write things you don't want to write.

[swanpride.livejournal.com]

To add point 4: You should only write stuff you truly enjoy. It's never good to tackle a theme when you feel some sort of resentment doing it.

and point 5: There are certain themes which are very sensitive and you certainly shouldn't tackle if you don't know what you are talking about.

At least, this are my main reasons to avoid certain themes.