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Blame this on the consequence of playing Robot Unicorn Attack while thinking that Harper would totally make a robot unicorn just because. It's been ages since I wrote any Andromeda fic; I'd never seemed to have much luck with them. But this one kept nagging me. You don't need to know Robot Unicorn Attack to understand this, mostly because there's nothing to understand.
Characters: Harper, Rommie
Rating: G
Summary: Harper is making a robot unicorn. Dialogue only.
Of Unicorns and Rainbows
"Harper, why are you building a horse?"
"Correction my epitome of perfection. This little beauty is no mere horse. This is a unicorn."
"I stand corrected. Why are you building a unicorn?"
"Because I can. And I should. And why should I, you ask?"
"Actually my previous question continues to remain the same--"
"Because I have the means, I have the ways, but most importantly, the brilliance. You wouldn't believe the obsession some humans have for unicorns even after thousands of years. In fact I have it on good authority that Becka keeps a stuffed unicorn under the seat of the Maru for good luck... uh, don't tell her I told you."
"I... see. And it's this obsession that's compelled you to build an android unicorn?"
"Robot, Rom doll, robot unicorn. And no. Trance made the mistake of trading one of her precious plants for what she thought were coordinates to some old High guard outpost. Turns out they were just games - old Earth games to be precise. Really old, as in ancient. Well, okay, not ancient ancient being remakes of remakes but nothing any self-respecting game maker would create in their right mind seeing as how the graphics transcend pathetic and yet they still manage to be highly addicting... anyway, one of the games was being a particular pain in my ass so I decided what the hell, I'll play it my way. And what better way to play than to bring it to life!"
"Uh-huh. I see. And the object of the game is...?"
"Er, fortheunicorntorunreallyfastandcollectbutterflies."
"I'm sorry but did you say for the robot unicorn to run really fast and collect butterflies?"
"Yeeaaahhh, something like that, but with the occasional smashing into things... namely glittery glass stars but that doesn't matter because what matters is that this will be way more fun than that flat piece of crap that I can't get a high score on. All I need now is a planet to set up a track, to figure out how to make rainbows come out of its... er... tail..."
"Rainbows?"
"...and a couple of willing participants, and by willing I mean willing enough to pay. Robot butterflies and glass stars don't come cheap, darlin'."
"And you honestly think people would be willing to pay to make a unicorn run really fast and collect butterflies?"
"While smashing into things."
"Yes. While... smashing into things. Harper, I'm not certain which is more unusual - Earth culture or you."
"Rom doll, you will eat your words when you see the way this puppy scoops of butterflies."
"Again I stand corrected. Definitely you."
The End
Characters: Harper, Rommie
Rating: G
Summary: Harper is making a robot unicorn. Dialogue only.
"Harper, why are you building a horse?"
"Correction my epitome of perfection. This little beauty is no mere horse. This is a unicorn."
"I stand corrected. Why are you building a unicorn?"
"Because I can. And I should. And why should I, you ask?"
"Actually my previous question continues to remain the same--"
"Because I have the means, I have the ways, but most importantly, the brilliance. You wouldn't believe the obsession some humans have for unicorns even after thousands of years. In fact I have it on good authority that Becka keeps a stuffed unicorn under the seat of the Maru for good luck... uh, don't tell her I told you."
"I... see. And it's this obsession that's compelled you to build an android unicorn?"
"Robot, Rom doll, robot unicorn. And no. Trance made the mistake of trading one of her precious plants for what she thought were coordinates to some old High guard outpost. Turns out they were just games - old Earth games to be precise. Really old, as in ancient. Well, okay, not ancient ancient being remakes of remakes but nothing any self-respecting game maker would create in their right mind seeing as how the graphics transcend pathetic and yet they still manage to be highly addicting... anyway, one of the games was being a particular pain in my ass so I decided what the hell, I'll play it my way. And what better way to play than to bring it to life!"
"Uh-huh. I see. And the object of the game is...?"
"Er, fortheunicorntorunreallyfastandcollectbutterflies."
"I'm sorry but did you say for the robot unicorn to run really fast and collect butterflies?"
"Yeeaaahhh, something like that, but with the occasional smashing into things... namely glittery glass stars but that doesn't matter because what matters is that this will be way more fun than that flat piece of crap that I can't get a high score on. All I need now is a planet to set up a track, to figure out how to make rainbows come out of its... er... tail..."
"Rainbows?"
"...and a couple of willing participants, and by willing I mean willing enough to pay. Robot butterflies and glass stars don't come cheap, darlin'."
"And you honestly think people would be willing to pay to make a unicorn run really fast and collect butterflies?"
"While smashing into things."
"Yes. While... smashing into things. Harper, I'm not certain which is more unusual - Earth culture or you."
"Rom doll, you will eat your words when you see the way this puppy scoops of butterflies."
"Again I stand corrected. Definitely you."
The End
