Question for those who've read 1st few Black Dragon Chapters

[kriadydragon]

Though the chapters I have posted in my journal will be changed, I was wondering: does the method of how it begins  -  a gradual introduction of each character, how they came to be the crew, get the ship, etc  -  work? Should I go with a gradual intro or do something that has the story jump into the action (maybe they were a patrol ship for another quadrant or they were the crew of a fighter promoted to Border Patrol?)

I'm wondering which might be more preferable. I know how I would handle it if I went the "jumping into the action" route. Matt would be saved by the BD crew, then the start-story would be him joining the crew when they transfer over to the Void. Loyalty and relationships would already be established to a degree, which means with each book we see those relationships change - making them grow stronger or grow apart. With the gradual intro, we'll be able to see the loyalty and relationships grow and change from the start.

Chances are good that I'll stick with the gradual intro since I already have it written, but I'm still curious to hear what you all think, and I am willing to start over.

Comments

[karri-kln1671.livejournal.com]

I'd say keep the gradual intro section for yourself for reference, but jump right into the action to start the book. My head hung in shame, I admit that I need to me pulled into a story pretty quick or I lose interest before I get to the action. If I have a reason, such as knowing the author, to stick it out, I tend to skim over the gradual intro stuff or skip over it entirely, so, accordingly, I prefer relevant background info to get worked into the action somehow in tiny, tasty, teasy tidbits, rather than large chunks of info.

Have you seen Firefly? They do a good job of demonstrating the loyalties and growth in relationships while keeping things pretty exciting.

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

The only problem with jumping into the action, for me, is I need the readers to know the characters sooner rather than later. For what I have planned for the other books in the series, the characters' back-stories play a very heavy part. Of course, I wouldn't reveal everything, just what needs to be known right away so I can build on it throughout the rest of the series. Jumping into the action means running the risk of information dumps in order to get these backgrounds known (I used to have a real bad habit of doing that.)

The more gradual start allows me to get the intro backstories out in a more natural way. The problem is (which is what caused me to hit a snag with this sotry) is that it can make, and has made, for a very long beginning that takes too long to get to the action.

So what I really need is a happy medium - a shorter intro that moves more quickly into the action. Or into a mystery, then the action, kind of like with the Aliens movies.

And Firefly is what got me considering if I should jump into the action.

[imbecamiel.livejournal.com]

Personally, I liked the more gradual relationship to the characters, and seeing the development of their relationships from the start.

If an author can make the characters and the details of their world vivid to me, I'm willing to spend some time with more character-based development before getting to the action parts. And you have a real talent for details, so I think you can pull off spending more time on a gradual intro before jumping into the action.

On the other hand, as Karri said, many people will be coming into this looking for the action, and get bored if it takes too long to get to it. Especially with sci-fi and fantasy, I think authors have more work cut out for them to convince readers that this story and world will be not only interesting, but believable.

So I guess partly it would depend on what you want the emphasis of the book to be. If it's going to be a primarily plot/action-driven story, it might be good to jump into the action more quickly, to get things moving along and catch attention quickly. On the other hand, if you want it to be a more character-driven story, focusing a lot on the relationships between them, then spending more time on that at the start would probably give a better foundation.

Not that the plot/action side and the character/relationships side won't both be very important to any book, but deciding which you want to be the more driving force might help decide which to emphasize at the start. It can be done well both ways, so I think going with what inspires you and what feels right to you as the author will probably turn out to be the best choice.

Parenthetically, I think one thing that would be better introduced differently is the concept of the kriady dragons. They seem like an important and unique part of this world, and the idea is interesting, but the way the it was brought in seemed a bit weak. If they're going to play an important part, it seemed like they were first mentioned rather late in, feeling rather incidental and "by the way", with a little too much telling instead of showing, rather than blending seamlessly and believably into the situation.

At any rate, I do like them, and I'm sure that'll be taken care of in the rewrite, but I just thought I'd mention it.

I really enjoyed what you have posted! I for one would really like to read more, and very much want to know what happens.

Good luck on the rewrite!

[imbecamiel.livejournal.com]

My goodness, looking back at my response I realized what a long answer that is to your question. *ducks head* Sorry about that :P I have a tendency to go on once I get started...

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

That's okay. It helped me consider a lot.

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

Parenthetically, I think one thing that would be better introduced differently is the concept of the kriady dragons. They seem like an important and unique part of this world,

A lot of people have been kind of hinting at that. The dragons are interesting and play a big part, but not that big a part compared to the ship. They're more like horses in a western - a necessesity more than something that has a larger destiny. But you're right, they do need a better intro.

Impatient readers are the reason I've been considering jumping into the action, and I'm very torn. The story is both action/adventure and character driven, but I think it's more character driven, which is why I feel the need for a more gradual intro. Too slow, like you said, and I'll lose my reader's interests. Too fast and I feel like I'll be skimping out on what's needed for what I have planned in future books, especially since my character's backstories play such a large part in the things they'll be going through.

For now, I think I'll just try and keep the intro stuff short to get into the action as soon as possible.

[sholio]

*hangs head* I'll admit that I started to read it and then jumped ship because it wasn't really holding my interest.

As a reader, I usually do need to be plunged into the action pretty close to the beginning of the book. Something that's been really turning me off a lot of published books I've started to read lately is that they give lots of backstory at the beginning, but until I get to know and care about the characters, I really don't care to hear all about their lives and who they are. (Note: I'm not saying that you did this, necessarily; I don't actually remember why I quit reading, just that the first couple of chapters didn't draw me in.) I need a compelling reason to care about the characters first -- otherwise, in a published book, I'll actually just skip over the chapters of exposition to get to the point where things start happening, so it may as well not even be there. I only start to care about who they are after I've begun caring about them; otherwise, it's like the boring first date who sits you down and tells you all about her stamp collection before you've even ordered dinner yet. *g*

The books that have been most successful at grabbing me from the beginning have started off with a scene that does double-duty with both displaying something important about the character, and jumping right into an interesting situation that hints at the future plot to come. If the action doesn't start immediately, then mystery is a good way to go -- by making it very obvious that there are things the reader doesn't know, you make him/her want to keep reading. Telling me everything at the beginning will lose me. Implying that there are interesting things I'm gonna want to find out about ... that will keep me reading. I think the biggest mistake that beginning authors make is to tell the reader too much about the characters and not hold anything back. Look at the way SGA keeps you hooked by doling out little snippets of backstory but never really giving the whole story. I hope they never tell us everything about any of the characters; not knowing keeps the suspense screws cranked tight. And yet the show is still very much character-driven and you never feel as if you don't know the characters; it's just that there is so much about them still to learn.

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

*hangs head* I'll admit that I started to read it and then jumped ship because it wasn't really holding my interest.

Oh, don't worry about it. What I have on my LJ sucks horribly and is way too slow. This is why I'm not supposed to write stories that I don't outline first. Without an outline, my stories go all over the place.

Right now I was content to just cut most of the intro stuff, but I may very well end up rewriting the whole thing as I have so many ideas of what I can do. However, I just don't feel this the kind of story where I can jump right into it with everything already set up - like in Firefly - I feel there needs to be some kind of buildup; just not so dang long as with the chapters in my journal.

[sholio]

Examples of successful, attention-grabbing book intros: *looks around desk for recently-read books*

Steven Gould's Wildside: this is a character-driven YA adventure novel. The first chapter involves the main character driving around to his friends' houses and gathering them all up because he needs to tell them something. In the process, we see glimpses of their lives -- one kid has an alcoholic dad, one of them has been the protagonist's best friend since grade school and he's in love with her but she doesn't know, etc. And all along, hints are dropped that there's something very interesting going on that the rest of them don't know about. By the end of the chapter, you know who all the characters are, and you're really interested in finding out what the main character is hiding.

Watership Down: I imagine most people have read this. In just a few pages, the first chapter sets the scene with a vivid description of the sun setting over the rabbits' meadow, introduces the main characters and gives you an idea of who they are, and sets up a strong sense of tension by pointing out that the rabbit warren is going to be destroyed by developers. In this case, the rabbits don't know their danger yet -- all but one of them, and he doesn't know what the danger IS, but has to go warn his people. Tension! And the first chapter is specifically designed to introduce all the major elements that will come into play in the book: the vivid description of nature; Fiver's visions and Hazel's protectiveness of him; the danger from humans and other predators; the way the rabbits interact; etc.

Bride of the Rat God: Starts with a girl being chased. Eek! Danger! What's happening? As the scene goes on, we realize that it's a movie; it switches to the main actress talking to her cousin about how the scene was filmed. "Rat God" is an excellent example of a book where the characters' backstory is vital to understanding the plot, so you need to be told a few things right away, but it doesn't overwhelm you with information. It just tells you what you need to know immediately about how Nora came to be in Hollywood, and then the rest of her backstory is seeded throughout the book; we don't actually find out the whole story of what happened to her family until pretty close to the end. What we learn in the first chapter or two is just the bare minimum that we need to know for her interactions with her cousin and the others to make sense -- that she used to be suicidal and miserable, but her cousin invited her to come live with her in America, so she's an outsider who doesn't really know how things work yet. And the main plot elements (Crys's necklace, the death curse, the major characters) are introduced within the first few pages, even though the reader doesn't yet know the significance of everything yet.

This isn't the only way to tell a story, but the intros that I think are most well-done get most of the major players and the initial setup for the plot onstage in the first chapter. Things can unspool slowly from there, but I think it's important to never tell your reader anything immediately, except what they absolutely HAVE to know in order to understand what's happening RIGHT THEN. If (just to pull an example out of the air) your character's childhood bully is going to show up in chapter twelve to make his life miserable, then you'd want to hint at it -- maybe he flinches when someone near him moves quickly, maybe he hates being crowded by people because it reminds him of the time he was shoved into a locker in 5th grade -- but don't tell us any more until the information becomes relevant.

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

This isn't the only way to tell a story, but the intros that I think are most well-done get most of the major players and the initial setup for the plot onstage in the first chapter.

That's true. I hate it when a story takes forever to get to the point - and especially the main charcter or characters - and I'm half afraid I'm doing just that.

Though I'm happy with the direction the story goes (I never have problems with action scenes) the beginning is leaving me iffy even with the changes I've been making. I fear I might still be doing the unnecessary info-dump thing. Some back story needs to be known from the start, but I think I keep going a little overboard with it - mostly for the main character.

Teah, I definitely see a rewrite in the future just as soon as I figure something out.