Word Choicing

[kriadydragon]

I was reading part of a story today that got me thinking about word choices. It was a nice little whump scene, very serious, that ended up kind of letting me down, and all because of the use of the word "nipple". Now, mind you, I have nothing against the word. That particular area of the body isn't a squick for me or anything and I've read other stories where it didn't bother me in the least bit. And the author was just using that particular area of the body to help the reader know the location of the wound being inflicted. Still, it just... didn't feel right, at least for that particular scene and situation, and at least to me.

I think the reason why is that the scene was supposed to be serious, and that particular word I tend to associate with the less-than-serious: comedys and/or humorous moments. I'm the same way with the word "Belly". I use the word, but sparingly as it has a tendancy to make me think of large guts or pregnant woman. I know it sounds biased, but in my reading and life experience, the word "belly" has always been used in connection with those two things, plus animals (the dog rolled onto its back for a belly rub.) So whenever I see the word, that's the direction my mind immediately heads. Not all the time; usually just when I come across the word the first one or two times.

I already did a post on word choicing in writers_lair: the very first post for the community, in fact, about how the words you choose can make or break a moment in a story. I just find it interesting how subtle word choicing can get, sometimes. Chances are good I was the only one bothered by the use of the word "nipple". Still, I think sometimes you have to be careful about such things. For example, I read a story where a kick between the legs was used as a serious form of whump. Yes, for a guy, it would be serious. For a story... mmmm... not so much. A kick in the crotch has been used for so long in comedies and for humorous situations that it's next to impossible to take seriously. Therefore, as a form of serious whump, it ended up being more of a let-down. I kept waiting for jokes about high-pitched voices and singing in the Vienna Boy's choir.

Some words don't necessarily have an association, but do have a kind of "feel" to them. For example, in another story was a character getting hurt in the "belly-button" - which had majorly squicked me at the time - thus killing my enjoyment of the whump. But squicking aside, I felt it a poor choice of words to be used in such a dark torture scene; a little on the cutsey side for such a serious situation, and I thought the scene would have been more effective had the author gone with "navel" instead.

I always say writing is like painting, because it really is. You're not just creating an image in someone else's head, but invoking certain emotions and reactions as well. You can't help what various people may associate a word with (not everyone equates "belly" with "large gut" or "nipple" with something funny.) Still, you should take into careful consideration words that would be more effective for what you're trying to achieve, pay attention to how the words you choose make you feel, and be wary of words that may end up making your readers snicker when what you really want is for them to get misty eyed.

Comments

[sgatazmy.livejournal.com]

So this has been something bothering me in my current story. Essentially, stomach and belly can be very different things based on the kind of whump. I have Rodney with a belly laceration but I don't want to use the word belly. If I say stomach laceration, it means something entirely different and far more serious! What would you suggest?

[flingslass.livejournal.com]

You could use abdomen or abdominal.

[sgatazmy.livejournal.com]

That could work.

[wildcat88.livejournal.com]

I agree with flingslass, abominal would be appropriate. Other choices are torso or descriptive location ("the wound ran from his left side under his ribs to his right hipbone" or something like that).

[sgatazmy.livejournal.com]

The problem is long descriptions only work when first introduced.

Abdomen is okay...I don't really like it.

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

That's another interesting thing about word-choicing - trying to avoid words we don't like. I'm not a fan of "belly" or "abdomen" - I don't know why - so rarely use them. In fact, it's why I never use abdominable wounds as a form of whump. Well, that and because some abdomen wounds tend to really squick me ;).

[sgatazmy.livejournal.com]

lol, I understand! The problem is that sometimes my characters choose the injury themselves.

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

Characters are so fickle that way, aren't they? ;)

[karri-kln1671.livejournal.com]

When I beta, I tend to change as little as possible, unless the author requests I really did my teeth into it. However, I'll tell the author about things that aren't necessarily incorrect but bugged me, and those things are usually word usage issues.

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

I'm always so reluctant to suggest to people that they should, perhaps, go with a different word. I always feel like I'm telling them how to write when I do that. Although it's not often I come across a word-issue problem in the story I'm beta'ing. Most word issues I come across in stories by beginning writers and people in desperate need of a beta.

[karri-kln1671.livejournal.com]

Most word issues I come across in stories by beginning writers and people in desperate need of a beta.

That's true. I rarely get the treat of beta-ing someone like you. ;) I'm usually beta-ing for people who are in desperate need of a beta and have exhausted their previous betas.

[reen212000.livejournal.com]

I always say writing is like painting, because it really is. You're not just creating an image in someone else's head, but invoking certain emotions and reactions as well.

It's so very true! I have a dictionary handy at all times. There are so many words in the American English language that don't mean what you think they mean, or they mean something that's not quite what you're looking for. Then, there's slang words that mean something different across the world.

Such a tricky thing, but to convey a feeling, it's important which words you use.

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

Dictionarys, Thesauruses - a writer's best friend ;). I love the built-in Thesaurus on my computer. I hate being repetative, so love being able to hilight a word, click on the Thesaurus, and provide myself with a list of similar words to choose from. It's also a quick way to figure out the general meaning of a word without flipping through the dictionary.

[sholio]

Word choice *is* important! A good writer chooses each word with care. And a word that's inappropriate for the mood of the story is a poor writing choice -- the last thing you want is to have your readers laughing when they should be crying, or wincing in horror when they're supposed to be enjoying a tender romantic scene.

Another thing to watch for as a writer is over-using a word or phrase. I know that I tend to describe certain things in similar ways -- I overuse references to characters' mouths and eyebrows as a way of expressing their mood, for example, and my sentences are always cluttered with adverbs. A lot of writers, even a lot of published writers, have these little verbal tics. It's a whole lot easier to see that kind of thing in other people's writing than to find it in your own, though.

[kriadydragon.livejournal.com]

Oi, I hate it when I use the same descriptions over and over, especially the same description in several different stories. I always use "furrowed brow" to indicate confusion or "arched eyebrow" for surprise, and I've been trying to come up with other word choices to convey those same reactions.

I find that what helps me with that is to read something that's very well written - whether a published book or even a fanfic - just before I start writing (maybe a few hours before writing, or preferably a few minutes.) It helps my mind focus directly on the writing process, helps broaden my word choices and gets dialog and description to flow more easily. I get so much writing done if I read before I write. That is, if I don't end up getting so caught up in reading I never get around to writing, which usually ends up being the case :/.